" I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me." - Joshua Graham
If you are able to recognize some signs of codependency in your relationships, you may also be carrying around the negative effects of childhood trauma. Trauma that occurred on a consistent basis from early on in one's life is referred to as 'complex trauma' or CPTSD (Complex Posttraumatic Stress Disorder). It is complex because the distressing emotions and the attempts to manage them as a child happened while the brain was still developing. The behaviors the helped a person to survive can become embedded in one's sense of who they are. It is a specific form of PTSD and involves, not a single traumatic event, but an overall environment of trauma-inducing experiences. For those struggling with symptoms of a single traumatic event,, life before the traumatic incident was pretty much stable and happy with some ordinary bumps here and there. Then, BOOM!, a traumatic event occurs. Life after the incident looks and feels very different. In the case of complex trauma, there is no 'before' or 'after'. From very early on, life was consistently stressful and uncertain. Essentially, there was no BOOM!
If the latter seems to describe your experience, you may be struggling with symptoms of complex trauma, which can include the following:
- Feelings of shame
- Relentless fear of being abandoned in relationships
- Tendency to become over-reactive/over-emotional
- Underlying feelings of powerlessness/helplessness
- Never feeling good enough
There is a way to reduce or eliminate these symptoms and find peace and fulfillment in your relationships. I will work together with you to heal the trauma at the core of your relationship issues, enabling you to make healthier decisions, build supportive connections with others, and rediscover your true self. Feel free to contact me at 631-836-3027 for more information.